father knows best pt. ii

about one week ago, my son and i were having "boys day."  my daughter was with her mommy and so benjamin and i were out to do "boy" things.  rock climbing, mcdonald's, etc.  while we were in the car we listened to all the songs he wanted to listen to and sing along with and chatted it up.  during a lull in our conversation a song came on that i liked but that he didn't know to well.  i turned it up a little bit and sang along as he sat in the back seat, staring out the window as he listened to his goofy father sing along.  at the end of the song i asked him if he liked it.  he said, "of course i do daddy...it's yours."

what i've seen

i don't know that i can say with too much confidence that i say that to my heavenly father.  how many of us take what God gives us and say, "of course i like it daddy, it's yours." what selfless motivation!!  what joy in other's joy!!  my son did not like the song because he liked the tune or the words, the story or the harmony . . . he's 6, he doesn't know of such things.  he liked it simply because it was one that i liked.  then it dawned on me . . . every song i play for my children they sing along with and laugh and scream simply because i did first!  i am so selfish!!

i have seen my life take a route of selfishness.  even in salvation i'm so quick to thank my Father when his gifts suit me . . . not often to i take the time to thank Him for the hardest of times, the difficulties and the pains of life.  not often to i say to Him, "Daddy, if our most joyful times are in the depths of the darkest valleys then rush me down to them...that i may curl up in you and sleep in peace."  not often to i thank Him for molding my character through trial.  and even rarer (if ever) do i actually ask for Him to mold it as He wills.  i would much rather have times of peace and prosperity and so very often to i covet them.  every day i covet them.

my son is my joy.  my daughter is my joy.  i am their joy.  and it is beginning to break me down . . . in a good way.  like a child i must go to my father.  with complete abandon---of finances, of stability, of peace, of happiness---i must abandon it all and with then empty arms embrace the savior of my soul and realize that He's the Savior of every other part of my life as well . . .