mileu

driving home from church this morning, after a fairly moving moment at communion, i began to wonder what it was going to take for me to strive after excellence.  looking around in the room of my mind, in all the corners and closets, i can count many areas that are in need of cleaning and upkeep.  some left untouched for a long time, some given minimal attention, and the ones given most attention still in need of repair.  i saw a life "getting by."  it's not that i don't take my spiritual life seriously or that i have made a consious decision to to "skate", as it were.  but it seems to be what is happening.  looking around the lives of churchgoers and christians at large, i see a movement of active, God seeking, minimalists.  it seems that the prevailing christian millieu is one which sees christians as sinners who cannot escape that fact.  (caution: it is indelibly true that this is the case.  the human nature is such that there will alway be, until the end has come, a cloud of sinfulness which pervades everything we do.)  however, this earmark of the christian culure has created a pessimism and a lackluster effort of christians and their leaders to expect excellence from the church.  by identifying christians as "sinners and nothing more," we're making less of an effort into correcting sinfulf habits, creating communities to encourage and uplift sinners in repentance and right living, preaching repentance from the pulpit, and, grossly, letting accountability slide into a hug and affectionate smile of "i'm glad i don't have your struggles."  part of me wonders if this mentality is because there are those of us that struggle more than normal with certain sin patterns, etc...and those that don't have that same struggle simply don't know how to address it.

  talking tonight with a dear friend, a psychologist and co-small group leader, we entered into the discussion of addiction and certain mental disorders such as anxiety and depression.  when someone finds out they have an addiction or a disorder, a very typical response is, "doesn't everybody deal with this?"  and the answer is, "no, they don't."  it then makes it difficult for both parties to understand what can be going on.  my focus here is obviously from my own testimony...but it's the struggle i see as real and apparent in the church at large.  most people don't understand that if you take an alcoholic into a bar and set a fifth of whiskey in front of him, what happens in his mind is not an ability for him to just push it away with no inner struggle or even fear or pain....it's an uncontrollable urge that he cannot supress easily. same for drug addiction, sexual addiction, co-dependency, etc...

as someone who struggles to find ways to "cope" with my sinful tendencies, i find that i am more and more in need of discipline...not punitive, but positive.  i find myself to be more likely to not fall into sin when my life is disciplined.  when i'm running regularly or climbing regularly, my life seems more focused and intentional.  i need to be this way more, a wayward son has no intention in his life, he merely floats from one day to the next hoping for the best to fall into his lap.  more times than not, however, he finds himself in the same cycle of habits...falling when he didn't even know he was in danger.  i need people, friends...clergy...family, to be intentional in my life as well, to see that i am, in turn, being proactive in my own.  

i think that's where we can start....by being intentional in each others lives.  we are more likely to succeed when we set ourselves up for success.  left to our own devices we will fall all over ourselves and then right back into sin.  Christ has left us with this wonderful community in the church...we, like sheep, have all gone astray and we are in need of shepherds to lead us, corral us, and protect us from both ourselves and our enemies.  pastor john macarthur has stated, "a shepherd is not judged on how well he pets his sheep, but on how well he protects them."  we, as christians, have the same obligation to each other.  in community, protecting each other from the pitfalls of sin.  we must be proactive, intentional, and diligent to push each other into the excellent calling of glorifying our God in every facet of our lives.

soli deo gloria  

pilgrim's progress

this quote on prayer by John Bunyan has been haunting my thoughts for the past 5 days or so...

"Prayer is a sincere, sensible, affectionate pouring out of the heart or soul to God, through Christ, in the strength and assistance of the Holy Spirit, for such things as God has promised, or according to His word, for the good of the church, with submission in faith to the will of God."

my prayers too often take the shape of what i would like to see God do.  in most instances i have good intentions, wanting God to heal, or answer, or show power, or convert...all good and noble things for Christians to desire.  but in them is an inherent selfishness that i have begun to realize.  "if these things happen," i subconsiously think, "then it will benefit me this way...."  

"with submission in faith to the will of God..."  this is the struggle for me.  submission first...then faith in the will of God.  i lack both.  pride has for too long dominated any desire to submit my heart and desires to Him.  it's a relearning process and one that has not come without pain and loss.  and faith in the will of God...our struggle to find the will of God usually begins and ends with ourselves.  "what is God's will for me?"  "what is God's will for my life?"  a wife? a better job?   a future without the nagging of my past?  all of these are blessings from God, but none of these are promises of God...and if i am to follow the scriptural model of Christ....i should be praying for the things God has promised....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc, etc....and have faith that i will receive those things and be living the will of God.  i now pray for the grace to understand what He has promised...

"hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear unto my plea...in Thy faithfulness, answer me...."