on vulnerability

there is a call in the church, an informal one, for it's body to begin living life in a real and open way. it has been a criticism of the church by those on the outside looking in, of a "fake" or "hypocritical" showing of itself. throughout the 20th and now 21st century, the church has been accused of judgementalism, hypocrisy, elitism, closed-mindedness, etc...and sometimes rightly so. this isn't going to be a defense of the church, per say, but rather simply my thoughts on what might be needed to counteract the prevailing attitude. along with a need for the church to educate the world on what it is really about with regard to doctrine, practice, and right relationship with our Creator, the church is in need of a vulnerability of grace. here's what i mean by that....

a relationship with Christ is a relationship of change. it is a relationship which says, "that is who i was...and now this is who i am." without a change, without a way of looking at someone and being able to say, "that is what he was...and now here is what he is," then there is no way for us to see the change. there is no way to give a testimony of grace.

there is a reason we have the testimonies we have in scripture. in peter we see a man who fell to the bottom of deception in his denial of his association with Jesus. we saw an outright lie come from his lips three times. there were witnesses and a moment of guilt the remembrance of Jesus' words (Matthew 26: 69-75; John 18:25-27). then we see a little while later peter's moment with Jesus (John 21:15-17). peter, once a denier of Christ...now the leader of the followers of Jesus. and in paul we see a murderer. a man who stood by and gave his approval to the stoning of stephen. later, being met on the road to damascus, paul is confronted by Jesus, and we see in his life throughout the book of Acts and his letters, a life changed. both of these men, among others do no hide their sin. in their proclamation of Jesus and a relationship with him, the also proclaim who they were...and who they are now. we do not have in the faithful of God as told in a scripture a group of men and women who led lives of righteousness and perfection. in fact, it's quite the opposite. the testimony of scripture is that those who became faithful followers of God had to first come in their sin and then walk opposite of it. throughout their lives there was always an underlying story of who they were.

what i've seen

i have not seen overwhelming evidence in the church today that there is a discipline of vulnerability in it's leaders or followers. there are in some instances, but as a whole the church sets itself apart as an organization of the righteous. pastors and priests in pulpits are regarded as those on a pedestal higher than the normal church goer. it's a view that comes with the position....unless the leader makes it his prerogative to have a testimony of "this is who i was...and this is who i am." from the top down there needs to be a testimony of change. there needs to be a vulnerability of grace to the masses. "this is who i was...but because of grace, this is who i am." without the testimony, the call fails. and i don't mean a simplistic testimony of general sin because "all sin," rather i mean the vulnerability of peter and paul, of abraham and david.

the word "vulnerable" does not mean "openness through a veil." there is no room in "vulnerability" for sugar coating the ugly. the word "vulnerable" means being "capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt." there is in vulnerability the very real possibility that there could be pain: mental, emotional, spiritual...possibly even physical. we as christians must have this mindset in our testimonies. we must be open with who we are to the extent (yet within reason) of being willing to hurt for the grace that we profess.

why? because that is the very testimony of grace itself in the work of Jesus. the ultimate vulnerability as was demonstrated on the cross. Jesus, for the masses of sinful humanity, made himself completely vulnerable so that we may be able to say, "this is who i was...and because of grace, this is who i am." He mentally made Himself vulnerable to the point of sweating blood. He emotionally made himself vulnerable to the point of being abandoned by His closest and only friends. He spiritually made Himself vulnerable to the point that He had to say, "Father, why have you forsaken me?" and physically He made Himself vulnerable to the point of death...death by beating, torture, and crucifixion.

yet we, so often, cannot be like Him in our lives by doing the exact same. the call of the Christian has been sugar coated and cotton-candied out. for the church to move forward the way the church was intended to, we must individually and corporately take up the call to live vulnerably real lives.

"this is who i was...and because of grace, this is who i am now."

easy chairs, hard words

i stole the title, straight out, from douglas wilson...a pastor in moscow, idaho.  for my small and perhaps inconsequential purposes here, i'm re-using it for a similar reason but with a little spin on its meaning.  "easy chairs, hard words" is the title of wilson's book wherein he writes fictional conversations about some of the tough passages in scripture.  hence...hard words being spoken by two gentlemen in easy chairs.  what i write in the following is not for or against pastor wilson, in fact, it has very little to do with his work accept in the similarity that the title fits both of our purposes....i simply like his catchy title.  so...thank you, pastor, for coming up with it :-)

it's dawning on me this evening the need for hard words.  i have recently been on a pensive journey through the process of recovery/reconciliation and the means by which we get there.  one major point, in my opinion, is what i mentioned in my last post...namely that there are too many pastors (and christians in general) who spend more time petting the sheep than protecting them from wolves.  at first glance, the statement appears to mean that there are wolves on the outside looking in, seeking to devour the righteous and unassuming christian.  albeit this is a necessary and good thing, i am coming to believe more and more that there is enough"wolf" in each and every one of us, capable of destroying us from the inside out, that our primary focus should be on protecting us from ourselves.  

what i've seen   

what i've seen, however, is an overwhelming tendency for us to stay reclined in our easy chairs.  we love to take life simply; no wakes in the water, no more than a breeze in the air and only sunlight breaking through the clouds.  our churches spend time creating fun groups for us to "plug in to,"  making our worship an "experience", and seeing to it that our every "need" is met...right down to coffee and doughnuts.  don't get me wrong, i love the coffee and doughnuts...but where are those things which were indispensable to Jesus and His early church?

i was reminded recently of all of the "hard words" that Jesus spoke to those around him.  "your righteousness must surpass that of the pharisees," "be holy as I am holy," "whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me."  if i think about these words in the way that i should they are hard to grasp, and make me uneasy in my chair.  these are only a few, and i've not mentioned the lives that Jesus called His followers to leave, or the sin He pointed out.  following Jesus is a life of repentance.   some of His first words, picking up the torch after John the Baptist was thrown in prison, were, "repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand."  following Jesus is a life of walking Jesus' road, with His cross in tow.

repent  carry your cross.

everywhere that Jesus exposed sin, when met with humility and faith, He also healed.  those who can admit they are sick receive the healing touch of Christ.  all of those who think that they are not sick, or do not need to be made well, or have no fault in them...repeatedly pointing the finger at someone else instead of pointing inwardly at their own hearts, has healing far from them.

too many times i have pointed the finger.  too many times i have blamed the world for my many mistakes. "i'm this way because others sinned against me," "the world has put all this filth in my mind," etc. etc.  it's true, both of those things have happened.  but it does not excuse the fact that i chose to sin.  without Christ i freely choose sin.  it's all i choose without His grace in my life.  if it were not for His grace, i would at every moment of every day choose sin.  

when it comes to a ministry of recovery from a life of habitual and cyclical sin....how do we teach those who are sick where they can find healing? how do we point them to Christ?  where can we have safe places to share hard words, calling sinners to repentance, have christians walking with each other and not afraid to share the hard words...making men squirm in their easy chairs?  when will we stop petting the sheep and begin protecting them from the danger of themselves?

i remember when hard words were shared with me.  it was only the beginning of a journey that i'm still on, but it was a beginning i hope to never forget.  1) the words where hard but not harsh.  my sin was pointed out in clarity and in fact.  it was black and white.  no grey, no middle ground.  2) i was called to repent from my sin.  point blank, again.  i was looked square in the eye and told to stop sinning in the ways that i had.  3) i was safe.  hard words were shared in an environment where i could be freely vulnerable without fear of humiliation of public ridicule.  i was humbled, but not humiliated. the public became aware of my sin, but ridicule was never in view.

i am eternally grateful to the men who stood on the side of truth and justice and who chose not to sidestep my sin and downplay it as "a bad mistake" or "an indiscretion."  the very minute we downplay the sin of our fellow christians we diminish the justice of the cross, and hold far off the hope of a life renewed by repentance.

i only hope that i can be more humble if there ever comes a time for me to hear hard words again.  and if i ever i need to share hard words, my hope and prayer is that i can love as those men loved me....enough to share hard words in a time of easy chairs...for the sake of repentance and restoration unto the glory of God through His Son and His work on the cross.  it's where we must live and breathe...and have our very existence....